Here are some old sketches that I did way back in the ’90s. They are all sketches from pictures that I found interesting in whatever magazines or newspapers I could lay my hands on at that time. Being self-taught, that was how I practiced my eye-hand coordination skills– by copying from pictures and judging how closely I could get a likeness by using as few strokes as possible. My reasoning was, if I could nail a convincingly pretty close copy by accurately drawing the contours of the major facial features (like the correct placement and shapes of eyes, nose, mouth, etc.), then the rendering or dimensional shaping and forming of the drawing by way of shadings, shadows and highlights would easily follow. (all drawings were done on regular 11″x8.5″ copy paper using charcoal and graphite.)
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
Above is a Neil Gaiman quote that I found on the web. And though it’s about the painful side of loving, I agree with it nonetheless and personally feel that it’s true because I had experienced the same kind of pain before. More so, the eros kind of love that seems to always expect something in return is a very fickle and insecure emotion. Even then, people still fall right into it. Ahh, but what can humans do about it? After all, it’s an alluring way to experience and appreciate the challenges in life as one grows and matures with time. Besides, feeling the hurt in a relationship may just teach one to learn by heart the selfless-giving kind of Christian love which is agape. In this kind of love, one offers his or her whole self unconditionally to others, exactly as Christ had done for humankind! If one can give till it hurts, then that person is just a heartbeat away from this ultimate, self-sacrificing kind of love! Yes, it’s attainable, of course! One only needs to live faithfully like so until he/she passes away from this world and into eternal life. Because in the end, this person would have proven well enough that the moment he/she decided to live like Christ, his/her life in effect became just one longer deed of Christian love– however trying along the way it might have been– and culminating with self-offering at the moment he/she returns to his/her Maker!
And in both retrospect and foresight, I somehow empathize with those who have experienced some terrible hurt caused by betrayal from their self-centered partners. Because only from these emotionally draining pains can one be tempered to forge ahead into becoming more resilient against the blows that invariably lie ahead! These are the kind of people who are capable of loving anyone selflessly! GOD Bless them all always!!!
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” –John 15:12-13 (New International Version)
I was reading the news on BBC’s site when I came across this article about a YouTube video of a short sci-fi film from Uruguayan director Fede Alvarez. The short film is so technically impressive and well-crafted that Mr. Alvarez was eventually offered a US$30-million Hollywood contract to make a full-length movie! The YouTube-uploaded video is entitled “Ataque de Panico!” (Panic Attack!) and is about giant robots invading Uruguay’s capital of Montevideo! While the concept may seem trite already, considering the slew of sci-fi movies we’d been seeing of late (“Transformers” and “2012″ come to mind, and just this week, the new movie, “Avatar”), this one seems to be bucking the odds in that it is not Hollywood-produced and was made with only US$300 in budget! What is actually striking about the whole thing is the fact that this short film seems to conjure up the unlikely combination of a grand-scale production and a ridiculously tight budget! And yet the quality of the shots, directing and effects is astounding! The short film is only 4 minutes, 48 seconds long. But if Mr. Alvarez can sustain this level of technical skill and fine-tune it for transformation into a full feature film, Hollywood may yet have another top-notch creative director in its midst! Check it out and see for yourself why Fede Alvarez‘ work is receiving a lot of favorable responses from movie buffs everywhere!
i don't cheat. i pollinate!, 12"x9", ink and acrylic on Canson 70-lb white Drawing paper
The recent news of Tiger Woods’ dilemma regarding his marital infidelity made me think about how the complication of cheating on one’s spouse has become trivial nowadays, particularly the notion that since most celebrities do it, then it shouldn’t be considered big deal anymore. While that may be true, most people still believe it is not an excuse to hop in on the bandwagon and join in the fun. “To cheat or not to cheat,” yes, that is the only nagging question in a person’s conscience when he or she is suddenly presented with a beautiful and attractive “opportunity.” Would I pass up on that thrill myself if I were in these celebrities’ shoes? I probably wouldn’t. And while I’m not condoning this offense, I’m also not condemning the person involved. Sin happens, but the sinner matters more.
Tiger’s recent apology on his website clearly indicates that he is sorry for what he has done. And since it is an extramarital affair, the issue of forgiveness would be best left between the concerned spouses. If the wife forgives the husband’s infidelity, end of the story. But boy, it would take a whole lotta lovin’ to look the other way and still keep on trusting the person who has repeatedly betrayed your trust! Well, he’s only human so I’m certain he deserves forgiveness if he asks for it sincerely and with the resolve not to be unfaithful anymore. However bitter a personal sin is, it can be forgiven. His reputation as a squeaky-clean individual may have been tarnished already but if he manages to keep his family intact, then well and good! After all, that’s all that really matters! So I hope the Woods couple will get over this ordeal through forgiveness and save their marriage and family!
On a side note, it’s baffling that I can never quite tell just by looking at someone’s physical appearance if that person will or will not cheat on his or her spouse. Maybe because it’s largely a matter of character. It’s something that is inside one’s heart– or the lack thereof– and not manifested on how good- or bad-looking a person is, or even how well or lousy he/she dresses up.
Still, I consider marriage a very sacred vow that must not be defiled by infidelity. I believe it is a blessed union between two loving souls, so holy that “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. [Mark 10:9, KJV]” And when it comes to committing oneself to a lifetime of marital faithfulness, I am often reminded of a line I read elsewhere– and it goes something like this: If you can’t settle down, then don’t get married!
withering away in arduous toil, 11"x9", pen and ink on medium-weight white paper, colors inverted
I wonder what would happen if the world was just one big happy place where there were no more crimes, poverty and injustice and the only thing that I would be worrying about is how to live longer. Hmm, sounds a bit familiar? Yes. And I think it’s because I actually ought to be living my time on earth like so: by behaving well without a covetous heart. Wow, that’s a pretty good thought, considering that if this were to happen, that would mean I’d be well-off in the wealth department and that I could buy anything I wanted just like everyone else. Plus I didn’t have to worry about getting mugged or killed for my money because there just wouldn’t be any crime around as everyone is– unbelievably– materially contented! Except for one thing: I’m still mortal and I could die anytime from any health-related cause just like everyone else. Ah, the case of so much money yet too little time! And the kind of life that imitates the line, “Let’s eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!” In the end, it’s just pretty much like having a very special, loving someone in my life without consciously knowing what gem I had in that person until I lost her. That said, could I have been so unjust thinking only of my own gain and pleasure by getting involved with yet another woman, or was it an outright terrible crime to just let her leave without me doing much effort on my part to save our relationship? Surely, life must not be perfect if it has to end at some random time, eh? After all, I beg to differ and say otherwise that all good things should not really end if they are indeed truly good! Sigh…I guess I’m just being totally avaricious! But in any case, if I gravely offended a good heart, then I must pay the price and suffer the consequence!
And that’s how I died the first time. When the virus of pride entered my heart and I got sick out of my senses! Long story short, I didn’t value a love so precious! I was convicted of the crime of stupidity, injustice of indifference, and relegated to poverty in heart from a love lost imprudently! I was found guilty on all counts beyond reasonable doubt! In the end it came as no surprise to me: I was sentenced to die by lethal rejection, withering away alone in utter misery!
Now on to my umpteenth chance, I believe I have clearly achieved complete control over myself. Which is, every time I’m happy and I know it, I clap my hands! That way, I’m sure I’m keeping my hands just to myself! Imagine if I weren’t a changed man yet, and I’m happy and I know it, I would have been all over the place again! Now that’s a bad thing. As I’ve learned my lesson the hard way: too much of a good thing is…well, you get my point, don’t ya?
A month from now, Sony Pictures will release its Roland Emmerich film, 2012. And if everything stays true to its script about the world ending in 2012, then I have only a little over three years left to maintain this blog, barring any other earlier personal misfortune. Bummer! I wish I could be with you all forever!
But do I honestly think the world will end three years from now? Of course not! Why? Because I believe that no one really knows exactly about the day and hour of this apocalyptic event! The Bible says in Matthew 24:36 that “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” If even the angels in heaven don’t have a clue about it, then, how can I possibly believe any of these human-derived prophecies? And, yes, I am talking about the end of the world as I know it, meaning, the end of all life forms. As in planet earth never even existed in the first place!
So when will the world really end? I have no idea. I’m just trying to write a blog post here. If I knew its exact date for certain– without any shadow of a doubt– I will let you know about it immediately by any means necessary! I will inform you of it on this blog, I will go on national TV, I will tweet you, I will email you, I will put it on my facebook wall, I will text you. Heck, I may even knock on your door to tell you personally about this not-so-sweet news! But I’m just…me, a fickle-minded human being who always makes mistakes! Sigh.
The gist of the 2012 film tackles the earth’s doomsday scenario as taking place around the Mayan civilization’s supposedly end-of-cycle date which is December 21, 2012. At about this time, a series of terrifying natural disasters are presumed to take place worldwide culminating in earth’s eventual destruction! And how an ancient race even came to specify this ominous date is beyond me! All I know is what I’ve only seen on TV, that their knowledge of astronomy was far ahead of their time!
Bear in mind that some people thought the world would have already ended way back in 2000. But nine years later, I’m still here (and even blogging right now) and our planet earth is still rotating around its axis and revolving around the sun. The world population has even gone up from 6.07 billion in 2000 to the current estimate, 6.79 billion! As you and I can see, life went on in spite of such prophecies. There are still night and day, earth and sky, you and me, and babies born every second!
Sorry to say, but I don’t really care how the world will end; please pardon my nonchalance. Because, let’s face it, when the world ends, everything and everyone ends with it for good! No one will be around to pat you on your remaining shoulder and say, “You’re bloody right, my friend! The world did end in one horrific explosion!” And I’d rather not venture even an educated guess because I’m not good when it comes to multiple choices. Even if I try my darnedest to influence the weather, I know I won’t be able to stop a tsunami from rushing inland or a volcano from erupting! I simply can’t go up against mother nature and expect myself to bend it according to my will! See, I don’t really want to know when or how the world will perish. It is what it is when the time comes and I will try to deal with it and face it with my faith. But of course it would be nice if I died with some sort of peace of mind or a clear conscience, wouldn’t it? The only way I know how this is possible is by following Christ’s teaching of loving one another– to love my fellow men as myself until the end! And by living this way every single day like it were my last day will help me keep check of my own personal mortality and salvation. That way, when I die loving, there is a greater chance that I will die with a smile on my face.
For all I know, the end of the world can happen any day now, in a way I’m afraid I least expect it to be. Sure it’ll end my earthly existence. But I also believe in the Messianic prophecy of Christ’s resurrection and triumph over death, that He “will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,” that He will resurrect the just and true believers and that “His kingdom will have no end” from this moment forward. When this day happens, you’ll either see me in a happy place up there with all the angels and saints, or in a terrible place elsewhere. And when we see each other in heaven, remind me to double-high-five everyone! Thank goodness, God bless all of us, thank God a lot!!! But– heaven forbid– if I end up in that “fiery furnace” where there is always “weeping and gnashing of teeth,” my only wish is that I don’t see any of your lovely faces in there. Because if that were to happen, I am sure I’d be tempted to crawl up to you just to ask this one nagging question: What in heaven’s name did you do on earth to end up with me in this hell of a place??! And please, don’t answer me with “Secret!”
