Portal

Portal, 11"x9", pen and ink on medium-weight white paper

Ever wandered any place that touts of “wireless hotspot” and wondered why you couldn’t get online? Well, the culprit may not be your laptop, the ISP, your browser, the search engine, or you. When you think that all is well and still the packets don’t communicate, it might be that your discordant vibes with an unseen spirit are the reasons causing the interference and are, in fact, telling you something. Yes, that unseen spirit that seems to always hover around like a cursor is the same one most people call “the wise one,” or “the chief”! This is the same entity who arguably invented the smoke signals– the original wireless protocol! I call him simply “Portal.”
If you can’t get your wireless to work, be still for a moment and listen. Then lift your head up as if pensive, and chances are you’d hear these words streaming in your thoughts, telling your conscience exactly what you must do:

Man wants signal,
Man must make fire.
Man seeks hotspot,
Man must search around.
Man wants wi-fi,
Man must trade some.
Man, you idiot!
Go buy coffee…NOW!”

So the next time you’re in an airport, or a hotel, or a mall, or Starbucks, or Panera’s, and you’re emailing your loved ones or finishing up a work or school report, be wise and take some time to buy a cup of coffee. Then in private offer your gratitude to Portal, whose predecessors and descendants also drank coffee. Be one with him in spirit and show him you are grateful by quietly saying this short chant,

I thank you, Portal,
this coffee I buy.
Help a mere mortal,
and grant me wi-fi.”

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2 Responses

  1. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i couldn’t help but laugh i read this….

    yes, you must buy coffee even if the coffee is bad…HEHEHEHEEHEH

  2. …laugh when i read…. sensya na po, kulang-kulang 🙂

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