Art and anger

plain wrong, 10"x7", ink and color pencil on Strathmore 400-series, 60-lb Sketch paper

eat it away, 10"x7", graphite and color pencil on Strathmore 400-series, 60-lb Sketch paper

Sometimes I feel so slighted or irritated that I just want to vent my ire right away at the cause of it no matter what! And while the act of releasing it seemed liberating– it is hell! Looking back at those times when I was so enraged I wanted to get even, I couldn’t help now but feel small! And what’s ironic is the fact that during all those times, I was feeling anything but sorry! I thought I knew I was right and that the person who wronged me deserved worse! But as I would learn much later, even– even— if I was right, if I acted out of spite, I am still wrong! Now I feel so shameful at how immature and childish I was back then! What I learned is that as anger clouds my reason, pride slowly kills my soul! That much I now know.
Some of the drawings I’d made were done while I was mad as hell! And some were done only after feeling sorry about the whole thing. And for whatever worth art is to me, I know that those times when anger ate away at my reason, I was instead breaking pencil leads, sloshing ink all around and slapping on paints as bold or muddied as pride and prejudice could be! Follies may take me away to places inside my head where anger and frustration exist– but always only at the mercy of art!

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