to cheat not, or not to cheat: that is the answer

i don't cheat. i pollinate!, 12"x9", ink and acrylic on Canson 70-lb white Drawing paper

The recent news of Tiger Woods’ dilemma regarding his marital infidelity made me think about how the complication of cheating on one’s spouse has become trivial nowadays, particularly the notion that since most celebrities do it, then it shouldn’t be considered big deal anymore. While that may be true, most people still believe it is not an excuse to hop in on the bandwagon and join in the fun. “To cheat or not to cheat,” yes, that is the only nagging question in a person’s conscience when he or she is suddenly presented with a beautiful and attractive “opportunity.” Would I pass up on that thrill myself if I were in these celebrities’ shoes? I probably wouldn’t. And while I’m not condoning this offense, I’m also not condemning the person involved. Sin happens, but the sinner matters more.
Tiger’s recent apology on his website clearly indicates that he is sorry for what he has done. And since it is an extramarital affair, the issue of forgiveness would be best left between the concerned spouses. If the wife forgives the husband’s infidelity, end of the story. But boy, it would take a whole lotta lovin’ to look the other way and still keep on trusting the person who has repeatedly betrayed your trust! Well, he’s only human so I’m certain he deserves forgiveness if he asks for it sincerely and with the resolve not to be unfaithful anymore. However bitter a personal sin is, it can be forgiven. His reputation as a squeaky-clean individual may have been tarnished already but if he manages to keep his family intact, then well and good! After all, that’s all that really matters! So I hope the Woods couple will get over this ordeal through forgiveness and save their marriage and family!
On a side note, it’s baffling that I can never quite tell just by looking at someone’s physical appearance if that person will or will not cheat on his or her spouse. Maybe because it’s largely a matter of character. It’s something that is inside one’s heart– or the lack thereof– and not manifested on how good- or bad-looking a person is, or even how well or lousy he/she dresses up.
Still, I consider marriage a very sacred vow that must not be defiled by infidelity. I believe it is a blessed union between two loving souls, so holy that “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. [Mark 10:9, KJV]” And when it comes to committing oneself to a lifetime of marital faithfulness, I am often reminded of a line I read elsewhere– and it goes something like this: If you can’t settle down, then don’t get married!


6 Responses

  1. when i read the title of your post, i said to myself (or screamed to myself) “NOT TO CHEAT!” i wasn’t sure if i wanted to read it but read it i did … 🙂

    i feel so emotional that i cannot write coherently but my thoughts come out as “lines”

    …i agree that an offender must ask for forgiveness from those they have hurt , vow never to “give in” again, and repair what has been damaged.

    …however, what is one to do when the offender has never said sorry, doesn’t intend to say it, and has chosen to “carry on” with the infidelity?

    …i remember the priest saying “love one another not another one” – looking back, i wonder what was going on in the groom’s f**cking mind then?maybe, “…oooppssss, too late for that father!” or maybe “…can i keep both?” or what about, “…let’s see how far i can take this?”

    i think i’ll stop…i’m getting angry 🙂

    • Hi, Lynchie! Thanks so much for visiting my blog!
      I believe that marriage, being a spiritual vow, is a sacred union. And yet, even more powerful than that is our own personal free will. A wrong choice or indiscretion can easily break one’s marriage– and worse, in some instances, more than one family is affected. Really, really sad! The spouses are the ones responsible in keeping, or breaking, the union. However great the temptation is to cheat, one should never give in to it. I know it is easier said than done. But almost always, when one breaks the vows in his/her marriage– as if accursed– the guilt stays for life, not unlike a constant, nagging anxiety in his/her heart!
      GOD always sees through our heart and innermost thoughts. Someone who’s been wronged or betrayed may seem like he/she has been taken for granted by God. But we all know that this isn’t so. God has good plans for all those who keep His commandments. And in His time, the blessings will flow like “Manna from Heaven”!
      Take care and GOD Bless you always, Lynchie!!!

  2. If you can’t settle down, don’t get married!- Haha, I was laughing out at this. You know, I was nodding in agreement while reading your post. Totoo naman kase. But personally, I think that trust is love’s first cousin. Mahirap pag nawala na yun.

    Btw, I liked the caption on the illustration. =)

    • Hi, wits! Thanks for visiting my blog!
      Yes, trust is the cornerstone of every strong relationship! If one were to lose it by being unfaithful, then he/she is no better than a dog! For even dogs trust their own masters!
      Thanks so much again for the visit, wits, and for the compliment! I appreciate it very much!
      GOD Bless you always, wits!!!

  3. Some people perhaps are born to be “polygamous” and the rest perhaps are “monogamous.I’m sorry but sometimes ….SOMETIMES…I have doubts on the importance of marriage in one’s relationship.There are so many couples who are married and yet cheated on their spouses…and what later..???divorce..Annulment???Though I am not discounting the importance of it in a SOCIETY bounded by rules and norms
    …it is a form of contract, sacrament and an institution.I agree with you MASTER ARTIST….If you can’t settle down, then don’t get married…that is if you are ready to face a lifetime of emptiness and loneliness?
    As to cheaters….burn yourself to HELL!

    • Hi, 5378! Thanks so much for visiting my blog!
      Like you, I wish that all marriages would be intact. I wish that when two people chose to get married, they would really stay faithful to each other. If two people really married for love– and assuming they really, really love each other and understand that love precludes infidelity– then how hard could it be, really, to stay faithful to that love and love no one else but each other??! Isn’t it easier to keep a marriage intact than to mend it after it has broken apart?? It’s even more mind-boggling to ever think of throwing it all away that way!
      Meron nga tayong kasabihan na, “Ang pag-aasawa ay hindi parang kaning isusubo at iluluwa pag napaso!” Eh, kay dalas kong mapaso sa mainit na kanin pero di ko na iniluluwa. Nilulunok ko na lang kahit maluha-luha ako sa sakit! Kasi, pag nailuwa ko na, parang ayoko nang kainin eh! hehehe…’Di nga ba pag magaasawa na ang dalawang tao eh gusto na nilang “lumagay sa tahimik”? Eh pag nag-cheat ang isa eh magiging tatlo na sila sa relationship! Three’s a crowd! Bihira lang yung crowd na hindi magulo!
      Thanks again, 5378, for stopping by! I appreciate it a lot!!!
      Take care and GOD Bless you and all your loved ones always!!!

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