:(

 

fcuk it! fcuk sadness! 12"x9", ink, acrylic, and colored pencil on Canson 70-lb white Drawing paper

Everyone feels sad from time to time, I understand that. I just hope, for everybody’s sake, that it never gets to being hopelessly sad. As for myself, whenever I’m feeling down, I just listen to music. And if that still wouldn’t clear up my mind, then I’d sleep it off. Anything worse than that, I’d need to find an outlet for– like drawing. If it’s the worst kind, like the grief brought by the loss of a loved one, then I’m afraid I’ll be so devastated that the only thing that’s going to lift me up is the mercy of Christ.

Today, I’m feeling down. An unlikely Saturday kind of sadness. And so I find myself writing this post, while listening to Pandora radio, preset to one of my personal choices of station: Billy Joel’s. Right now, what’s playing is Five For Fighting’s “100 Years.” How fitting. Because it seems that even after all these years, I’m still caught up in some lamentable memories and worries of my life– causing me not to see my blessings, instead of realizing that each second that passes is an opportunity for gratitude.

Ahh, I need to find a way to look at the bright side…shake off this sorry feeling. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

imploding into zero, 12"x9", graphite, acrylic, and colored pencil on Canson 70-lb white Drawing paper

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Tears

smoke gets in your eyes, 11"x8.5", pen and ink on Roaring Spring 60-lb paper

smoke gets in your eyes, 11"x8.5", pen and ink on Roaring Spring 60-lb paper

Do your eyes tear up when there’s secondhand cigarette smoke around you? Do you get teary-eyed when you’re chopping up onions? Do your eyes well up in tears when you choke up on your emotions every time you’re reminded of a failed relationship? Or do you go bawling when a loved one dies? If your answer to all these questions is yes, or to the majority of them, then you’re very lucky. Because you are, from the looks of it, a normal human being! If not, then you may be stressing your eyes too much by spending so much time in front of your computer screen; you need to ease up on your online life once in a while as it is clearly ruining your emotional response to stimuli. Or, you may be suffering from what is called a “dry eye syndrome” (DES). This means that there is not enough tears to lubricate, moisturize, and wash the eyes to keep foreign bodies or particles from doing any harm. The solution to this, of course, is to consult an ophthalmologist who can best help you to treat this problem. My suggestion though is simple and it won’t require you to make a trip to your expensive doctor. All you need is a different trip– a trip down memory lane! How? Try recalling any occasion in your life when you felt happiest or proudest. Oftentimes, the most joyous instances in our lives will never fail to bring tears in our eyes! It may be the day you graduated from college, or the day you learned you passed the board/bar exam, or the day you won a much-coveted prize, or the day you lost your virginity (I know, this is sad to some), or the day you got married, or the birth of your first child, or the first time you held your first grandchild– whatever it is, joy will surely overwhelm you to tears! If any of these still didn’t work, then…GO TO YOUR DOCTOR– for crying out loud!!! (Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you…now, you’re crying. See, you’re cured already! Forget the doctor then!)
As for me, I guess I’m pretty normal. Tragic events can make me watery-eyed. And even a sad song or a sad movie can move me to tears (now that’s just some errant, wayward estrogen acting up, right?)! Sure thing, a regretful past easily blurs my eyes tearily. So much so that I almost always cry myself to sleep…(awww…*sob, sob, sniff, sniff*)  Which brings me to ponder: How badly dehydrated would I be if those were tears of joy instead?

kayrami na'ng matang pinaluha, 12"x9", pen and ink and acrylic on Strathmore 400-series, 60-lb Sketch paper

kayrami na'ng matang pinaluha, 12"x9", pen and ink and acrylic on Strathmore 400-series, 60-lb Sketch paper

NOTE: As I’m posting this, I learned of the passing of two American icons: Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. What a sad, sad, sad day…My sincerest condolences to the families they left behind and may the souls of these two great artists rest in peace!